I just can't stop loving you : )

So I found this boy and discovered a couple of weeks ago that I'm in love with and I still can't believe how perfect things are. I never thought that I was going to find such a perfect guy, unbelievable but true. He's the sweetest and cutest boy I've ever met. He's always making me laugh and telling me such beautiful things. He's like my prince charming, such a perfect gentleman. I can't describe with words this feelings that I have for him and how much I am in love with him. I'm thinking about him like twenty four/seven. When he's not around I miss him like he can't imagine. When I know that I'm going to see him I feel so nervous because time passes so slow, and when I finally have him in front of me I feel like a thousand butterflies in my stomach. When I have him close to me I want to hug him all the time, and when he kisses me I feel like I'm going to faint. I can stay looking into his eyes like the whole day and I wouldn't be tired. I never felt this for nobody. I feel that he's the one, I love him like I've never loved before. This kind of love is so new to me and so beautiful. I feel like I could spend my whole life with him, just talking and laughing or laying in bed in silence just listening to his heart beats. That kind of moments are the moments where I discover why he gots me so in love, because of the simple things he gives me without even knowing. So he needs to know how much I love him and how lucky I feel to have someone like him in my life. You are the one who makes me the happiest girl in the whole world, I have a smile in my face every day because of you, so thank you for everything you have done and still do for me, for giving me these wonderful feelings, for making me feel so special but most of all thank you for loving me the way you do sweetie. You rock my world every single day.

I love you more love, always : )

This is it movie is not really it !.

I went to watch Michael Jackson's this is it movie twice so far, the first time I went the premiere day and then three days later. I can't explain with words what I felt while I was sitting in the theater watching the movie. I saw the greatest entertainer in the world doing what he most enjoyed to do, singing, dancing, teaching and spreading love for all of those people who were working with him at that time and the other millions and millions of people who were watching the movie as I did. I cried the whole movie, because watching him there dancing and singing made me realized again how much talent we lost and what is worse, made me realized again that he's no longer here on Earth with us and that we're no longer able to watch him dancing and singing live anymore except on the concerts's dvds and videos but at the same time watching him dancing and singing made me want to jump up and start to dance. I sang the whole movie, every song. I was amazed as I always am evey time I watch him performing live. He has an special effect over people, and of course over me. He has the ability of makes me believe and feel what he's singing and makes me feel the stenght of his steps, it's amazing because I feel that I feel what he feels when he sings and dances. And in the movie he talks about how he feels about the enviroment problems and how we need to realize how important is to save our planet and help people, and I love that part of the movie, because is so Michael, always wanting to help to heal our world and trying to teach us that we can do it if we really want it. What more can I say about the movie ?. For me as an Michael Jackson admirer is perfect and as some random people is a movie that I will certainly enjoy to watch. So this is it is not really it, because everytime somebody watch the movie besides to enjoy Michael's perfect and greatest singing and dancing, will end up with his mind a little bit open and I think that realize how important is to save our planet and heal our world.
I love you more my beloved king, always !.

I can't stop missing you !.

Today it's been four months since your body is no longer here, on Earth with us, and I can't stop crying and being sad. I can feel the emptiness that there's in the world without you, the lack of music innovation, the lack of greatness and humility, the lack of the will to help other people and try to make the world a better place, but most of all I can feel the lack of love, that love that you preach just with your smile. That smile that now is gone, and only we're going to be able to see it again in heaven, because that's where you are right now, that's where you deserve to be. Though your body is no longer here on Earth, I can feel your spirit. I know that when I'm listening to your songs, it doesn't matter if I'm on the bus, on the train or just leaning on bed, you're with me, sitting next to me or leaning next to me, listening to them and if the song isn't perfect enough to you, you're thinking what could you possibly have done to make them better or if the song is perfect enough, you're just listening to it and enjoying your wonderful work. I'm not able to express with words how much I miss you, and how much you mean to me. When somebody tells me something about your trials, how your skin have changed or your eccentricities, it doesn't matter to me if it's something good or not, I can't help get mad and start to cry. I'm not able to control it. I know this is a wound it's not going to heal, not now, not in a couple of months and not in a thousand years, my heart will be broken for the rest of my life. Most of the times when I'm walking alone or traveling by any means of transport, with my ipod, listening to your songs, I look up the sky and pray, hoping that wherever you're, you're okay, and happy, doing what you most like to do, sing, dance and help, specially help. To me, you're the best thing that could have happened to the world, I'm sure, without doubts that without you the world would not have been the same. You're my inspiriation, my teacher, my hero, my favorite person in the whole world. Nobody will be able to do what you have done, not now, not in a millions years. You're the best in everything you've done. You're larger than life. You're the king, and no one, never will change that. Thank you for your music, for your dances, for helping people and try to make the world a better place. But most of all, thank you for taught me how to be a better person, how to make a better world with tiny things. Keep leading me to the right way, and keep making me do the right things. Together, with the rest of the people who share our beliefs, we'll change the world, I know it. So this is not it, this is just the begging, with you leading us from up above. My heart is yours, it always was. You will always be my king.
I love you more, everyday of my life.

Dangerously in love !.

Yesterday I was talking with the boy I'm into, and we were talking about how analyzing I'm with people and that I've like a sixth sense with the people I know. I can tell when someone is being real and when it's not, I know when someone is lying to me, I just know it and this sixth sense I have was always right. So he asked me what my sixth sense was telling me about him and I answered my sixth sense can't be objective with you because you have me completely in love. When I realized what I have told him, I couldn't believe it, I was like amazed, I just wasn't able to say anything more or to have a reaction. I just stayed still, in front of the computer, trying to think what to say, but I wasn't able to think at all. I have no regrets about what I have said to him, because it's actually the truth. But maybe it wasn't the right time to tell something like that, because I don't know what his feelings are and I don't want to that he just get scared and run away, just because I told him that he has me completely in love. I was so mad, not at him, at me because of what I have said to him. I hate how silly I can be when I'm into someone. I'm so impulsive that I can't just have my mouth shut. I've to learn how to be less impulsive and more thinkable. But I can't be thinkable with him, because the feelings that I'm having for him I have never had them for nobody, but that's another story. So I'm going to get over what I have said and move on and of course I'm admitting that he gets me completely in love, or shall I say dangerously in love ?.

Just like in a movie !

Yesterday was the day where I had to see him after our Saturday's talk, I can say without doubts that I was really nervous, because I didn't know how things would be. So I called him when I was arriving at the bar and he offered to wait for me outisde the bar. I was walking down the street when I saw him, there he was, waiting for me, a thousand thoughts came up to my head and a thousand butterflies came with the thoughts. But my main thought was ¿ how am I going to say hello to him ?, but all my thoughts were worthless when he came to me and kissed me. I was like, Oh my God, I never thought he was going to do something like that, and I have to say that I loved it. It was the kind of attitude that I wasn't expecting, he took me by surprise, he showed me with that move how confident he is and I love confident boys, that was a rockstar attitude as a friend have said to me earlier today. We get in to the bar, and we were talking about some random girl's stuff, I was with three friends, one of her boyfriends and a boyfriend's friend and he was with two of his friends. He put his hands around my weist from time to time, while I was talking to my friends and he was talking to his friends, it was like if we were in two different worlds but still connected, just because of his hand around my weist. At a moment he came up to me and stood still in front of me and kissed me, it was our second kiss, and it was like if all the noise, the music and the people who was there with us would have disappeared, I didn't feel anyone but us, kissing each other, it was like if the whole world have disappeared at the time that he started to look at me and kissing me. It was one of the best feelings that I've ever experienced and it's funny because, never happened to me something like this, I never felt this world disappear thing. We stayed for a couple of hours at the bar and then we left. We went to a gas station, I bought a coke that he didn't allow me to pay and my Cosmopolitan, when he saw the magazine, he started to laugh and said to me ''Why did you have to buy a magazine'', I wanted to buy Vogue magazine too but he didn't allow me to do it, it was a really funny moment. We stayed at the gas station while I was finishing my coke, and started to talk about different things, very random things, we talked about movies, college, music, life in general and other stuff, and while we were talking there were some moments where I looked at him and thought by myself ''I can't believe that we're here, together''. We laughed a lot, he's always making me laughed, all the time, and that's something that I really love about him. We were there and I felt like I didn't wanted to leave, I just wanted to stay there with him, talking and laughing. I can say that the whole night felt so right, it was so perfect and spontaneous that I didn't wanted to get to the end. It was like if we were in a movie, a love movie, our movie and I loved it. I loved every single part of this mini movie, my new favorite one.

Is this it ?.

I'm laying in bed listening to heaven can wait and I can't help but looking at the sky through my window and cry. I listened to this is it, the new Michael Jackson's song, and it broke my already broken heart. I know it is a love song, but the name is what kills me. I was trying to find all positive things about this song but I couldn't. I can't help having mixed feelings about this song. When I listened to this is it I loved it, I still do, is a beautiful song, his voice is great, the lyric too and you can feel what he felt while he was recording it, but every time I heard the chorus made me realized that this is really it. We'll have this upcoming cd and the movie and that's it, and I hated it. I can't accept that this is it, I can't get use to live in a world where I won't hear any more new songs from MJ. I know this is a song that he didn't want to be release and sony did it anyways, I hate sony for released it against Mj's will, but at the same time though I hate sony, I'm glad to have heard it, because I really, really needed it. I needed something new from him, though it's not a new song, but I don't care, for me it's new because I've just heard it. Anyways, I can't hel being sad and think about it over and over again, this song is stuck in my head. I know that this is not it, because though his body is no longer with us, I can feel his spirit here on earth. He's here someway, and I hope I really hope the movie makes him proud and these upcoming things like the double cd and the book make him feel proud too. But What I hope the most is that we'll be able to make him proud with our actions, and with our tries to keep healing our world and to keep helping the people and the children who really need it the most. So I'll finish it saying that This is not it, and this will never be it, at least not for me and for my MJ's fans friends. I know I'll keep on rocking with you, because you rock my world every day of my life. Allow me to finish this post with this MJ's song quote ''Though we are far away, I am here to stay. For you are not alone, for I am here with you, Though we're far apart you are always in my heart'', and you will always be.

I'll miss you and I'll love you more every single day of my life.

How would you call that ?.

It's been like a year and a half since I broke up with my ex boyfriend, and I never was with anybody, not a single boy until three weeks ago. So there's this guy, that I keep thinking about. We go to the same college, but not to the same classes. He's really something. He has this great personality, he's really nice and talkative with everybody, and he's always laughing and making jokes. Every time I see him we laughed a lot, he's always making me laugh and that's something I really like about him. I'm not sure if we have a lot of things in common or not, because it's been like three weeks since I know him, but so far I like what I know. I really enjoy the time we spent together, and when the time is up I think ''I wish to have more time to spend with you'' and since the break up no one could made me think like that but him. He's like a mix of boys but in a boy. He studies, he's responsible, funny, enjoys to spend time with his friends and go out and have fun, is someone you can talk to, and he plays in a band. I don't know what band is, never listen to it, but the thought of that makes me think like he's a bad boy or rebel boy and I have like a weakness for those kind of boys. But it's not that either what leaves me thinking about him. He has something that I still couldn't figure it out and that's what leaves me thinking. He has this ability, this kind of mystery that I really like. I don't think he likes me because I'm not his type, I think he likes a different kind of girl, more like him, more heavy metal type. But I can't avoid this feeling, I can't help wanting to see him and spend time with him. There were a couple of times when we get a little bit close and I had to watch to the other way because I couldn't help wanting to kiss him and it's not the first time. There are times when I see him right to his eyes and I think ''I just want to kiss you'', when he touches me or hugs me I feel like doing the same but I'm too shy I think, so I just see his eyes and laugh. So how should I call this ?. It's not love but it's not a passenger thing either. I think I'll go with the flow and see where it leads me.